Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Goodbye to a Friend

This past week has been difficult. I've had to say goodbye to a friend. I met Becky when I began teaching at the college in the fall of 1979. We became friends. We remained colleagues until I retired in 2005. She continued teaching until 2007. We both had brothers, no sisters. We both married men who did not have sisters. When we met, Becky had a little boy and a baby girl. I had a little boy the same age as Becky's and was pregnant. Becky was 12 days older than me. Our husbands shared our birth year. We both grew up on farms. We both commuted 30 miles to school. Neither of our families lived within an hour's drive. Becky and I both loved sewing - we both became quilters. We both enjoyed knitting. We both loved baking and Becky made the absolute best pies, especially pecan, that I have ever eaten. 

In our division at the college, there weren't many women so the few of us became close. We shared our joys and sorrows. We shared business trips. We shared our lives.  We came to love one another as sisters. 

The day our first grandchild was born, I was teaching. Our son was in contact with me off and on throughout the morning. At one point I hadn't heard from him in an hour and a half. Becky urged me to call - "We have to know!". I did finally call his cell and talked with Brad in the delivery room. It was the first time I heard baby Grace cry!  

Becky was helping load cattle Wednesday morning as she had done many, many times before. A cow hit the gate she was holding and knocked her down and unconscious. Before anyone could get to her, a cow stepped on her chest. Becky was airlifted but they could not get her heart going again.

It was an honor to know Becky and to call her a friend.


37 comments:

  1. Oh, Jeanne....my heart just stopped with that last line! I am so overwhelmed with the emotion of severe loss. Prayers for you and Becky's family. Warm long-distance hugs coming your way...

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    1. Thank you Doreen. It seems that there has been a lot of severe loss lately. I lost my Dad when he was 61, very close to Becky's age. I know what her children are going through and it is so hard to watch. But trying to be positive, we are all so much better off for the time we had with Becky. We need to cherish each day. Thanks for the hugs! ~Jeanne

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  2. You two were kindred spirits from the beginning, and you will always have those precious memories you two shared, as the sisters you became. Our love and prayers go with you in this terrible loss.

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  3. Jeanne, my prayers go out to you and Becky's family. I, too, have only brothers, so know the ties with kindred spirit sisters are so important. Blessings of comfort, Liz

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    1. Thanks. Kindred sisters are wonderful chosen ones, aren't they? ~Jeanne

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  4. How sad for you,my thoughts are with you even though I just found your blog.As a farmers wife I know how quickly bad things can happen on a farm.Many,Many things.

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    1. Thank you Sandy. So many times we forget how fast things can happen. Glad you found me though! ~Jeanne

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  5. Like Sandy D., I just found your blog. Even though I don't know you, my heart aches for you. I will keep Becky's family and you in my prayers.

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    1. I'm stopping by to say "hi neighbor," and I'm sad to know you're mourning the loss of a friend. My sympathies.

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    2. Thanks Linda. The days are getting better. ~Jeanne

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  6. My prayers are with you and your dear friends family at this oh so sad time in your lives. I am a new visitor aimmed here from StitchinByTheLake. I will be back to visit again.

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    1. Thank you. All prayers are welcome. I will be happy to have you come back and see some of the brighter moments in our lives. ~Jeanne

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  7. O.M.Goodness, what a tragedy---I am sooo very sad for your loss---friends like that a few and far between, and I know how much you will miss her. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you Angie. The good part is that Becky was a part of my life. I am a better person for having known her. ~Jeanne

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  8. I meant to also let you know that I'm a new visitor led here by StitchinBytheLake.

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  9. Jeanne I'm so sorry for your loss. We so often take friends and loved ones for granted but obviously you treasured her and your friendship with her. I know you will miss her so much. blessings, marlene

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    1. Thanks Marlene. Becky's children spoke at the funeral. Both of them mentioned that they had left nothing unsaid! I am so glad. ~Jeanne

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  10. Losing friends, especially those you have bonded with, is one of true sadness. How many times will we think we must call and share (whatever) and realize they are no longer with us. Your memories of joy and laughter will get you through, and she will always have a special place in your heart. I miss my friend Phyllis everyday. Judy C

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    1. Your words are so true. Thanks for stopping by. ~Jeanne

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  11. I'm so sorry. It must have been very painful to loose such a wonderful friend.
    I'm visiting from Portugal,
    Hugs,
    Teresa

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    1. Thank you Teresa. It is painful but life does go on. I'm glad you stopped by. ~Jeanne

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  12. How sad, but what a great tribute to your friend. Visiting from Stitching by the Lake.

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    1. Thank you Patty. Becky was a great friend. ~Jeanne

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  13. Dear Jeanne,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that the lovely memories of your friendship and times together will bring comfort & peace to your heart.
    Sending love & prayers
    maggie in Maine

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    1. Thank you Maggie. I have lots of memories and that does help. ~Jeanne

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  14. Your tribute to your wonderful friend made me feel that I knew her too. I am so very sorry for the pain of loss you are feeling. I wish I had some words that would help your aching heart.

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    1. Thanks Anita. Your kind words are enough. Thanks for stopping by. ~Jeanne

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  15. I am so sorry about your friend. I found your blog through Marlene's blog on her visiting friends day. It struck me and gave me the shakes to read about your friend. Something very similar happened to me last summer only the cow did not step on me. The panel hit me in the head split my forehead open and I got a concussion. The panel was on top of me and the cow went around it. It did not scare me too much then, just had to go have my head sewn up in dirty nasty clothes but when I read your blog, it scared me all over again. So sorry about your friend.

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    1. OMGoodness! I am so sorry that I made you relive that accident. Thank goodness you are ok! I don't know but I think the gate must not have fallen on Becky. Thank you for stopping by and I'm so glad you are fine. ~Jeanne

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  16. Such a tragic accident...I am truly sorry for the loss of such a wonderful friend. My husband and I are both retired educators, me since 2008 and Roger just last year. We also live on a small Alabama farm with horses but no cows. My husband was accidentally kicked and stepped on by one of the horses which gave him a concussion. However, in the CAT scans at the ER a small brain tumor was discovered about the size of a dime. It is benign but he has to have an MRI yearly to check for any growth. The horse accident was a blessing in disguise because now we know what to do to prevent a problem. Farm accidents can be very serious. I know you will miss your friend very much.
    Blessings
    Gmama Jane

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  17. Thank you for stopping by. I am so happy that your husband's accident turned out at a blessing. Too many accidents don't. I miss my friend but I know she lived a wonderful life and now she is Home.

    I hope you both enjoy retirement as much as we do! It is wonderful to both be retired. ~Jeanne

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  18. I'm so sorry for your loss. How blessed you were to have such a dear friend ... may your memories give you comfort.

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